It’s no secret that motherhood is a full-time job — and for plenty of women, it comes on top of another full-time job outside of parenthood. Naturally, this can leave little time for things like book clubs, exercise, drinks with friends, reading the news, and, well, sleep. In turn, self-care often ends up all the way at the bottom of the proverbial to-do list.
Sure, it can be tough for any of us to wrangle enough time in our busy schedules for baths, yoga, pleasure reading, and all the other things that bring us a sense of joy and serenity. But for mothers — who are so often entirely wrapped up in the care of others — it can be particularly important to carve out some “me time,” however difficult it may be. That’s why we reached out to six real moms with different professions across the country about the little acts of self-care they always prioritize — and how they actually make time to do so.
Mother to a 7-month-old
Natural maternity consultant and creator of parenting website OM Mommas
Miami, FL
“As a working mother, self-care usually takes a backseat to everything else. Before I became a mom, I never fully appreciated the personal things I could always make time for: yoga, acupuncture, massages, mani-pedis, and so on.
“Now, while I may not often have the opportunity to take ‘time off,’ there are still a few things I do to sprinkle some ‘me time’ in throughout the day. I often take a moment in the morning to set my intentions and goals for the day, not worrying about whether I can actually achieve them or not. I always stock up on my favorite snacks (mostly chocolates) so that I can enjoy them while the baby is eating. I try to sneak in some time to write and meditate while the baby is napping. And I tend to take an extra luxurious, hot shower when my husband comes home from work and I can have a moment to myself (as a bonus, I often throw in a hydrating mud mask). But, most importantly, I make an effort to continuously remind myself to be grateful for — and appreciate — myself and all that I do.”
Mother of two (ages 2 and 5)
Nonprofit development manager
Chicago, IL
“I’m sure running would be healthier, but my version of self-care involves driving. Usually disguised as a ‘long route’ to the grocery store, I’ll often take myself on soothing, lengthy drives with my music blasting, when the kids are supervised by someone else — no one in the backseat fighting or yelling at me to change the station. It’s the best way for me to clear my head and just do me!”
Mother of two (ages 2 and 3)
Stay-at-home mom
Montgomery, NY
“I’ve always loved looking at recipes and meal photos on my Instagram, but cooking for my kids used to feel like more of a chore than something I did for pleasure. But after joining WW, and learning a bit more about heart-healthy nutrition, I’ve started to capitalize on some of that Insta-inspiration and have been cooking way more often, mainly with the catalog of recipes provided by the program.
“Thus far, I’ve been having a really great time just learning how to cook. Initially, I literally had no idea what I was doing. My mom wasn’t a big cook. But now, I follow step-by-step instructions and really feel like I’m able to whip something up — plus, I totally enjoy the process. Cooking has begun to feel somewhat therapeutic to me, even while it’s still something I have to do to feed my family. I know 10 recipes off the top of my head! I also created a viral recipe, the ‘Tortilla Crust Quiche Laurin,’ instead of ‘Quiche Lorraine.’ I had no clue what I was doing, and now people are tagging me with the hashtag #QuicheLaurin. Instead of feeling like a burden, now I find that cooking is a thing I do for pleasure when I need some time to myself. It doubles as self-care and child care.
Another thing that I always make time for is therapy. I began seeing a therapist about a year into my wellness journey. It’s given me a new perspective and has improved my self confidence. It’s also taught me so many new ways to deal with stress and emotional triggers: breathing exercises, phone calls, long walks.
Overall, I now realize that taking care of my body and my mental health are some of the most important jobs I have. How I care for myself directly affects my ability to care for everyone else. When I feel good, I’m able to give my kids my best. It took a long time to figure that out, but I’m so glad I did!”
Mother of three (ages 5, 8, and 10) Business coach
Denver, CO
“My self-care activity of choice is reading fiction. I run a company that helps moms build successful online businesses, so I read a lot of non-fiction, business-type books for work; escaping into an amazing novel before bed is my favorite way to take some time for myself.”
Mother of two (ages 5 and 8)
Author
Baltimore, MD
“I schedule out a block of time for myself at least once each month — and I rotate the activity each time. One month might be dedicated to therapy, the next a mani-pedi, the next getting my hair done, the next a trip to the spa. For starters, I find this practice affordable — I don’t feel bad about splurging on something once a month — as well as efficient. I try my best not to cancel on myself — and labeling each monthly activity in my calendar helps me stick to my own plans.”
Mother of four (ages 3 through 7)
College history professor and creator of The Incremental Mama
Phoenix, AZ
“I take a hot bath with epsom salts and essential oils almost every single night. It helps me unwind from the day mentally and physically and — extra bonus — helps me fall asleep quicker. I used to think I had to somehow ‘earn’ a hot bath, but I’ve since realized that I don’t need to think of this ritual as a reward. It’s like a daily medicine I take to be well.
“Oh, and on top of that, while of course I value my sleep, occasionally I will stay up super late devouring an engrossing novel, cover to cover. And I don’t allow myself to feel guilty about it!”
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