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Katie Mather

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New iPhone Update Now Updates Your Sad, Buffering Existence Too

rawpixel.comGreetings from Apple HQ, everyone! We hope you’re all enjoying being controlled by our products — we greatly appreciate that most of you are willing...

There’s A Reason Why Some Of Us Feel Happier During Bad...

Joy StampI’ve always felt a little weird because I enjoy stormy weather significantly more than any perfect, sunny day. And like clockwork, every year,...

A Series Of Last Dates

Jimmy ChangThe three of us were sitting around a coffee table and everyone was on their phones — but in a way that implied...

I Can’t Go To Your Thing Tonight — Not Because I’m...

Alexander MilsYeah, look, I know it’s a little confusing these days because evvvvverrrrrrryone is justifying Not Doing Things as a form of self-care, but...

Things To Do While You’re Stuck Inside (All Of Them Involve...

Samantha Gades1. Organize your closet. It’s one of those tasks you always put off doing, but know deep down inside that you need to...

Not To Freak Anyone Out — But If This Photo Doesn’t...

Eaters CollectiveHi everyone! I’m DMing you right now because, well, I’m in a little bit of a pickle. You see, none of you guys...

Aesthetically Pleasing Movie Scenes That Always Make Me Hungry

Anytime Keri Russell makes a pie in WaitressWaitress Waitress Waitress I watched this movie on an airplane once and remember feeling incredibly sad for all...

QUIZ: Can Putting On A Face Mask Fix This?

American Psycho1. Your skin is dry and you can’t handle the greasiness of heavy moisturizers and face creams. Can putting on a face mask...

I’m A Woman Who Has It All, Here’s How I Get...

rawpixel.comI am a successful career woman with 2.5 kids and a husband who doesn’t resent me for my busy schedule and am also 25...

I Am Totally Sane And Definitely Not Setting Up My Expectations...

DavidI am very stable. I am really trying my best to stay grounded. It’s been a tough year, and one of the worst things I...

QUIZ: Are You Finally Getting Sucked Into The Void Or Are...

Meagan CollinsQuestion 1. You wake up in total darkness and feel like you’re about to puke. You can’t remember how you got here or...

I’m Just A Girl Who Built Her Entire Personality Around ‘Hating...

Melan CholiaLook, I hate small talk. It’s a very controversial and bold opinion to have, but I’m just too deep for shallow conversation. I...

The All-Time Best Bedrooms From Early 2000s Teen Movies

Bring It On (2000)Bring It On Bring It On Bring It On I have seen this movie maybe 40,000 times. It’s one of those movies...

Unconventional Ways We Measure Time

Mahdiar MahmoodiHow long it takes for a piece of gum to lose its flavor. Waiting for a YouTube ad to end. Waiting for coffee to cool. Time...

The Manic Pixie Dream Girl’s Christmas Wish List

(500) Days of Summer1. Less sadness. 2. But simultaneously, a little bit more sadness. 3. Controllable sadness. 4. Ribbons for my hair. 5. A gramophone. 6. For only men...

A Very Whatever Year

Jason LeungI really love telling stories, but I have a lot of trouble getting people to believe me sometimes. Like, one time, in a...

A Friendly Reminder That The Void Still Loves You

Jeremy PerkinsMy sweet girl, do not worry a moment longer that you’ll be single forever or that your ex never really loved you anyway....

Super Manly Remedies For The Very, Very Legitimate ‘Man Flu’

The Office 1. Drink water super masculine, tough guy liquids. Hell yeah! Put water in a glass mug and drink that ish. Man Flu is...

This Is Actually Just For Me

Matthew PayneI’m going to be very honest — and this truly is not groundbreaking information — but I always feel immensely guilty writing personal...

8 Christmas Movies Everyone I Know Has Screamed At Me For...

Home Alone1. A Christmas Story: This is somewhat cheating, but I HAVE seen the scene where that little kid sticks his tongue on the...

Here Is Your Ultimate Holiday Party Playlist

1. “All I Want For Christmas Is You” by Mariah CareyIt’s a classic! Kick off your holiday party with this famous and catchy hit! [youtube...

Things I Accomplished While I Was Actively Procrastinating Writing An Article

Oliver Thomas KleinI have NEVER been cleaner — I showered three (3) separate times in one day. I drank my body weight in caffeine and...

Here’s Your Holiday Gift Guide For The End Of The World

Mohamed NohassiWhat better time than now to remind your loved ones and coworkers and enemies that we are all spiraling into hell and there’s...

TIME’s Worst Person Of 2017 Is That Fucking Guy

Justin LuebkeHUGE round of applause for TIME’s (Unofficial) Worst Person Of 2017: That Fucking Guy!!!!! You know him, I know him, everyone knows him. The...

What’s In My Work Bag? (It’s Mostly Trash)

The author’s bag (which should really be washed), accompanied by three different drinks from the last hour. 1. My diary. I accidentally pour coffee on...

Please Hold While I Have This Very Self-Indulgent Breakdown

The IT CrowdI hate everything I write. I hate everything I write. I hate everything I write. I hate everything I write. I hate...

People Watching On A Saturday Alone

Martin David1. I decided to walk home because my friend’s apartment was too hot and I needed to cool down a little bit before...

Welcome To Third Wheel Rehab

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of AzkabanHello and welcome to Third Wheel Rehab (TWR)! We are basically like a spa for people who have...

Overthinkers Anonymous Meeting Notes

rawpixel.comAttendees: Me, President of Overthinking Everything Meredith, Vice President of Overthinking Everything (I think she hates me.) Jimmy, Treasurer (He definitely hates me because when I first...

Ranking The ‘Love Actually’ Characters By How Infuriating They Are

I’ve only seen this movie once and don’t know any names. They all just make me angry.Love Actually All I Want For Christmas Is You...

My Relationship With My Hair, In Six Parts

You can’t brush the curls because it will make them frizz and angry, so I think she just left it alone and hoped for...

Being Crushed By A City

Tarun RamI think I’m in love with every city I don’t currently live in, which is embarrassingly telling about me, but I did love...

Here’s How You, A Regular Commoner, Can Also Become British Royalty

The CrownWhat You Should Know Before Trying To Marry Your Way Into The Royal Family Because the royal family is more ceremonial than political (read:...

6 Signs You’ve Found A Great Guy (Actually, He’s Just Doing...

Norman TothThe year is 2017. Everything is cursed. But you know who isn’t all that bad? Brian — this tall glass of skim milk...

Take This Quiz To See If You Should Text That Guy!

Luke PorterAward yourself one (1) point for every “yes” answer and two (2) points for every “no” answer! Hehe! Love! 1. Do you think he’s...

Here’s Another Article For You To Open Up In A New...

Agnieszka BoeskeLook, you tried your best. You live in an age where the internet is your source for everything (and pretty much is Your Everything)...

Items That Didn’t Make The Cut For Goop’s Annual Holiday Gift...

Kari Shea 1. A bottle of wine where the wine is somehow made up of crushed diamonds. You actually also can’t drink it, only smell...

Okay, I’ve Dated All The Zodiac Signs, Now What?

Priscilla Du PreezI’ve seen so many articles talking about the pros and cons of dating each zodiac sign — to the point where I...

Hi, It’s Me, The Overlooked Best Friend Of The Hot Protagonist...

13Going On 30Hiiiiiiiiiiiii, it’s me — the overlooked BFF of the super hot protagonist you’re falling in love with. You may not have noticed...

Giving Meaning To Things That Don’t Matter

Alberto MontalesiFollowI get high from assigning meaning to mundane things. When I was six, I made my mom name every person I knew and every...

I’m Just A Girl, Standing In Front Of A Boy, Wondering...

Notting HillI don’t ask for much out of relationships. Politeness. Maybe a college degree. A sense of humor would be nice (but not funnier...

My Relationship With Grocery Stores, In Four Parts

The Big LebowskiPart One The Ralph’s on Weyburn is enormous. I used to actively complain about the walk there from my apartment on Midvale—the distance...

Another Thing About Time (And Then I Will Stop Bringing It...

Gertrūda ValasevičiūtėFollowI have a really terrible habit of writing down random statements and quotes without distinguishing whether I thought of them myself or if...

Storyline Suggestions For Will Byers In The Next Season Of ‘Stranger...

Stranger ThingsWill comes home from school and does his homework and then takes some Melatonin and then goes to bed at 8PM. I would...

How To Accessorize Your Existential Dread Like A Chic French Girl

AmélieBonjour! Are you looking to add a little je ne sais quois into your daily routine of screaming into the void and crying in...

Perks Of Being In The Friend Zone

Omar Lopez1. Complimentary tote bag. 2. Health care (includes dental). 3. Kickball league. 4. The knowledge that you are seen as a multifaceted human being rather than...

A Breakdown Of All The Serial Killers Featured On ‘Mindhunter’

Mindhunter Kemper began killing at an early age — murdering his paternal grandparents when he was only 15 years old, after being sent to live...

What’s Everyone Wearing To The End Of The World?

Ant RozetskyHeyyyyyy guys! Can you believe the end of the world is finally here? I legally couldn’t drink in 2012, so I’m actually kinda...

A Story In Which Nothing Happens

Steven WangIt is not a love story. In fact, it’s barely even a story. You get bored thinking about it on a regular basis...

Personal Spaces

Rhett NoonanI remember being surprised by how clean it was. Not that he’s necessarily a messy person, but the living room in their apartment...

A Shared Custody Agreement Over Your Boyfriend

rawpixel.comTo whom it may concern (the girl dating the guy I’m in love with), I’m proposing this very legal and very formal shared custody agreement...

29 Things That Happen On Every Single Episode Of ‘House Hunters’

House Hunters1. The couple’s names are always something like Janet and Derek. Before they even open their mouths, you know Janet will have the...

Pretty Things

Nik MacMillanI feel a slight revulsion towards very pretty things, which seems almost counterintuitive. They make me feel out of place. It’s why I...

How To Convince Everyone At Work That You’re Chill, Even Though...

Real photo of the author’s desk. 1. When you socialize, remember to make eye contact. Making eye contact is important in establishing deeper and immediate...

That Stupid Little Green Dot

Dayne TopkinI don’t think a lot of people understand how exhausting it is to always pretend that you don’t care about anything. Feel bad...

30 Personal Questions To Ask That Guy You Just Went On...

Ugur Akdemir1. What’s the worst Tinder date you’ve ever been on? Is this it? 2. Why do guys always say “haha” at the end of...

I Am Always Just ‘Her’

Jacalyn BealesBefore we became Real Friends, we’d sit around his living room and he would talk about his ex-girlfriend (the one he was still...

Some Missed Connections

Jakub Dziubak1. We played phone tag for weeks; I almost always woke up to a missed call. This continued until both of us just...

9 Signs You’re Just A Quirky Low-Maintenance Girl Who Wants That...

Ilya Yakover1. You’re so whaaaaaaatever and laid-back about everything, it’s so cool. You just have one, tiny little extravagant dating standard, and it’s that...

What Horrible Memory From My Facebook’s ‘On This Day’ Feature You...

Parks & RecAries On this day five years ago, I became Facebook friends with this girl who used to flake on me almost every single...

This Is Just A Temporary Solution

Larm RmahThis is a really gross and intimate detail about me (hello, internet) but I sometimes compulsively pick at my skin. The therapist I...

Find Yourself An Ex Who Says ‘Haha, Oh Boy, Wow’ When...

Christin HumeYou’ve seen all the articles that talk about how to build future successful relationships and why you should stay single until you meet...

A Love Story Told Through Google Searches

Bence Boroswhy does tinder need fb info tinder facebook post tinder success story tinder horror story private instagram viewer? private instagram viewer app bars near union square yelp bars union square cheap...
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