I miss when love was easier. When love wasn’t so cautious. When love was just a simple answer. I miss when love was a constant honeymoon, a constant forever.
Maybe this kind of love is too simple to be considered ‘real’ love. But it was to us. It was to him and it was to me. It was more than lust and attraction. It was more than puppy love. It was fucking real and big and alive.
I miss when the hardest thing about love was the question of timing. I miss when the biggest problem we ever had was when we were going to see one another again. When the only fight we had was who loved each other more. So simple and innocent and pure.
I miss when love was the only drug I needed to make my entire body feel whole. I miss when his voice and his eyes were the only thing I needed to be happy. I miss when his hands were my only safe haven. When I just needed him to feel fully alive.
I miss when love was simple. When it was younger and more vibrant and bold. When it was a first for everything. First kiss. First date. First time. First ‘I love you’ I ever whispered.
I miss when love wasn’t so damn hard. When we could just be silly kids in love. When we were allowed to be who we were because we were 17. When we were allowed to be crazy.
I miss when I didn’t have to overthink everything I said or did. I miss when I didn’t have to question him or me or us. When I didn’t have a care in the world because I had him.
It was like a high that lasted for years. It was like he was a pill and all I had to do was take it, and be okay.
Maybe it wasn’t real love. Maybe it was even unhealthy. Maybe it was all too much. Maybe it was insane. Maybe it was an addiction, a need, not a want. Maybe he was my oxygen and I was his. Maybe he was my person and I was his, Maybe we were too intoxicated with each other we forgot to notice the world around us. Maybe it was all too perfect for it to last.
But it was simpler then. It wasn’t overthinking or maybes or questions. We didn’t have to think about our future because the present moment was so damn good. We didn’t have to think about money or turning 30, because at 17, you don’t think about tomorrow.
I miss when love was enough. When love was enough to feel like you could fly. I miss when a simple ‘I love you’ could set my heart on fire. I miss when love was strong enough to get me through every hurricane.