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I Refuse To Change My Heart

God & Man

I don’t want to change my heart.

I don’t want to force it not to feel.

I don’t want to give up the essence of my heart.

My heart has always been a little reckless, a little naive, a little foolish but it taught me so much. It gave me so much joy and even the pain it caused me brought me closer to my passion. It brought me closer to my calling. It showed me where I truly belonged.

My heart has always been a little stubborn. Loving all kinds of people. Living all sorts of complicated stories. Breaking the rules. Not paying much attention to what others are saying. Just following its own path. Following what it truly desires. Following what moves it.

My heart is not perfect. It’s been wrong before. I almost gave up on it. I almost replaced it with my mind, but I realized that my heart is just like any other part of my body. It gets bruised and heals itself. It may not always be in perfect condition but it knows how to bounce back. It may not always function the way it should but there’s always a way to treat it. There’s always a way to put it back together. There’s always a way to nurture it.

I refuse to change my heart just because it’s still learning. I refuse to let my heart die when I’m still alive. I still believe in my heart. My heart gets it wrong nine times out of ten but the one time it gets it right, it’s always something magical. Something huge. A dream coming true.

My heart may not know everything but it knows things beyond my comprehension — beyond my limited thoughts. It’s connected to the spiritual world and sometimes my heart knows what I don’t know. These feelings, these emotions and the divine force that pulls us closer to something or someone are all so inexplicable yet they’re exactly what we should be following because they take us somewhere heavenly, they teach us an important lesson, they’re all enlightening us to find something greater within ourselves or something greater across the universe.

My heart is the universe. My heart is what brings meaning and life to my world. My heart is the reason why I survived the worst years of my life. My heart is my fountain that keeps quenching my thirst. My heart is sometimes the only reason why I wake up every morning because it’s still the only part of me that’s innocent enough to believe, optimistic enough to hope for more, strong enough to heal itself after every heartbreak and simple enough to find beauty in the little things and believe that love is in the air and a happy ending is right around the corner.

Maybe my heart is a little crazy but it’s exactly the kind of crazy I need to survive in this world. The right touch of madness that makes the impossible seem possible and makes me fight for all my dreams. It’s the kind of crazy I need, to see the light in every dark corner and every black hole.

My heart is the only thing that makes sense to me right now and I refuse to change it and even though it may not always know the way, I’ll always follow it. I’ll always take the road it picks. I’ll always choose to get lost with it because I know that it will eventually take me somewhere beautiful. It will eventually show me the way to happiness. TC mark

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