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1. Stop qualifying your success with your suffering. You don’t have to convince people that you’re worthy of what you have because of how long you went without it, or what a struggle it was to get it.
2. Stop saying what you think other people want to hear, rather than what you mean.
3. Stop being inconsistent. Do as you request others do. Mend what you criticize.
4. Stop talking about your work more than you show your work.
5. Stop trying to emphasize how busy or stressed you are in an effort to make yourself look elusive or important. It only makes you look like you’re secretly unhappy, and like you don’t know how to manage your time.
6. Stop “subtweeting.”
7. Stop sharing your political opinions in a way that only makes a point for your case by insulting someone in an unrelated way.
8. Say what you mean without qualifying or justifying why you think or feel that way.
9. Don’t tell people about your “success” unless they ask, and when they do, state it factually. Downplaying it is a bad move, but trying to get someone to ooh and ahh is even worse.
10. Stop being lightly negative on social media for the sake of likes or laughs. People won’t judge you for bad photos or too few status updates, but everyone remembers the person who is a passable bully.
11. Stop speaking ill of your friends to other friends. It is the fastest way to lose people’s trust.
12. Stop trying to find hidden faults in the people you’re jealous of. Villainizing those who have what you really want only makes it harder for you to get those things.
13. Be willing to say when you’re wrong.
14. Be willing to advocate when you’re right.
15. Speak clearly, not loudly.
16. Stop trying to change the minds of people who don’t want their minds changed.
17. Stop hoping, start preparing.
18. Stop assuming that you deserve anything. All you inherently deserve is the respect of others – and even that’s something that usually has to be earned.
19. Don’t abuse yourself in the name of “fun.”
20. Stop talking about how “hard” everything is.
21. Let your appearance make a statement about who you are, and be mindful if you want that statement to be how susceptible you are to what other people say is trendy.
22. Take your own advice. (Or at least try to.)
23. Don’t criticize others for that which you haven’t gone through.
24. Don’t criticize others for things you haven’t mastered yourself.
25. Stop being the victim of your circumstances. In life, we are all faced with challenges that we did not choose, that we are not at fault for. That is a given. The only question is how you will respond: that’s the only thing that differentiates the victims from the heroes.
26. Stop making other people – and particularly, the way they differ from you – the punchline.
27. Stop making other people’s personal lives the object of your social conversations and entertainment.
28. Stop complaining to connect.
29. Stop ask for advice if you are only going to respond to it with reasons why it won’t work.
30. Take yourself seriously, first. Trust that your life is worth caring about, and that your ambitions are worth putting effort toward. The willingness to try is the most admirable trait there is.