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Dealing and helping depressed people is a tricky subject. We know that you’re coming from a place of concern and care, but for a depressed person that can trigger the emotions even more. Depressed people don’t want to be the cause of burden for their loved ones and saying these things to them just validates that the status of their mental health causes trouble in the lives of others.
1. “It’s all in your mind.”
We know. We know that our mind is the problem and that’s why we need professional help. Please don’t expect us to realize this and become better overnight. We know that you suffer too because of our mental illness but that hurts us even more.
2. “Just be positive.”
If we know how to do this, our mental health wouldn’t be a problem. There are some things that are mundane to you but it can stir a lot of emotions within us. That’s just the way we are. We care too much.
3. “Focus on your blessings.”
We do, and that’s why we are thankful for you but it also hurts us because we doubt it if we deserve you in the first place. We don’t choose to be depressed, but it’s in our hormones, brain structure, and psyche. It takes more than counting blessing for us to feel better.
4. “You’re strong. You can do it.”
We are experiencing a lot and we feel more about the things around us. We know that eventually, we might feel better and actually do it, but for now, we are not there yet. Words don’t matter. The feelings that they stir do. Constantly telling us that we’re strong does nothing but remind us that we are not there yet. “This will make you stronger,” would be a better choice of words.
5. “Just forget about it.”
This might work for you, but all people are different. This doesn’t apply only to depressed people. By saying this, it’s like you’re telling us that we care about stupid things so much. Please don’t ever say this to an already depressed person.
6. “Do something fun.”
Honestly, talking is our ‘something fun.’ We want someone who would listen to us just for the sake of listening, not someone who would listen and evaluate everything we say. We already do that to ourselves. Overthinking is our problem, remember?
7. “Why are you locking yourself up? Go out of your room and you’ll feel better.”
We lock ourselves up because whenever we open our mouths, you either tell us to ‘forget about it’ or to ‘think about something else.’ We would love to do something fun but whenever we try to, we kind of bring everyone down, too. That’ll definitely not make us feel better.
8. “Why don’t you express yourself more?”
We are trying to. If you would just listen.