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At the end of the day, I just want to feel safe.
I just want to feel like the person talking to me is honest and genuine. I want to feel like I don’t have to go back questioning every word or wondering if these are lies I’m falling for again. I just want to believe that someone can mean what they say and prove that by consistent actions. I just want to feel like my heart is in safe hands.
I just want to know that someone is choosing me because of me; not because of what I do or how I look or how much attention they can get from me. I want to know that someone is choosing to stay with me when I’m falling short and my mind is messy and my heart is heavy. I just want to feel that their heart settled on me. There’s no competition to worry about. There’s nothing to fear. I know where I stand. I know what I mean to them. I know that they need me just as much as I need them.
At the end of the day, I just want security.
Love is important but love fades slowly and it can take many shapes and forms but the one thing that remains is security. Feeling safe. Building a solid foundation that can’t be broken easily. Building a home that won’t fall apart at the first sign of trouble.
And what keeps that going is security — knowing that someone wants to be there for you. Knowing that someone is choosing to see all the beautiful things about you instead of trying to find what’s missing in someone else. Knowing that someone wants to reassure you that you’re important and you matter and you mean the world to them.
At the end of the day I want someone to heal my heart, calm my mind and silence my doubts. I want to feel the kind of security that I wish my parents could have given each other. The kind of security that all my exes failed to give me. The kind of security that stops me from settling for all the wrong ones. Because if I can’t find that kind of security, then I’d rather be alone. I can’t stand on trembling ground. I can’t build something while my hands are shaking. I can’t go all in when my heart is worried about getting broken.
At the end of the day, I just want security. I want someone to keep me safe. I want someone who makes me feel like no matter what happens in the world, I’ll always have a home. I’ll always have a hand to hold. I’ll always have a heart that wants me. I’ll always have someone who protects me from everything that threatens me.