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“Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life to deal with and love shouldn’t be one of them.”
Tiffanie DeBartolo, Dreams For An Insomniac
I remember the first time I read this quote. Shivers honestly ran up and down my arms. Yes, I thought, yes. This was the best explanation of love I’d ever read.
Love isn’t supposed to be easy, or simple, or perfect, or even beautiful all the time. It is meant to be messy, confusing, frustrating, passionate, extraordinary.
And the more relationships I’ve been in or witnessed, the more people I’ve given my heart to or watched walk away from the ones I love—the more I’ve realized that love is hard as hell.
But that doesn’t make it any less worth pursuing.
Love is one of the most complicated things about our human existence. We’re all stumbling around, holding onto past baggage, carrying burdens and doubt and guilt, trying to fight through the mess of our hearts and find another imperfect being to share ourselves with.
We’re all learning who we are, then rediscovering that person standing next to someone else. We’re all trying to find where we belong, while also searching for arms that feel like home.
And sometimes we get so damn frustrated, so damn tired of holding out our hearts to people who toss them away, or who leave. We get into the downward spiral of attracting attention that doesn’t value us, or chasing relationships with no happy endings. We settle for people who aren’t really invested because we’ve convinced ourselves that’s all we’re worth.
But we deserve so much more.
Love isn’t supposed to be this boring thing, this basic connection with another breathing, beating being. We aren’t supposed to feel ‘okay,’ instead of alive. Or ‘content’ instead of passionate.
We’re supposed to fall into people crazily, freely, wonderfully, and with everything we have. We’re supposed to feel, and fall in, and fall down. And experience something extraordinary.
So no, we can’t settle. Not for anything that doesn’t make us celebrate living, celebrate falling. Not for anything that doesn’t shake us from the inside out. Not for anything that doesn’t challenge and fill us with light and hope and energy for the days to come.
No, love isn’t going to be easy. And no, we can’t simply accept these feelings and connections without giving ourselves wildly in return.
But there are so many bland and boring things we experience on this earth. And intertwining our soul with another person shouldn’t be one of them.
So don’t allow yourself to be any less than a person who loves with passion, with fullness. Don’t waste time dating or loving someone who doesn’t love you wholly in return. And don’t settle for anything less than extravagant love.