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As 2017 comes to an end, so should your pain and your heartache for your long gone love. And as 2017 comes to a close, perhaps, you need to close that chapter of your life too.
I know you loved him or her. You loved the way they smiled at you from across the table. You loved the way they held your hands a little tighter every time. You loved the way their eyes shone while looking into yours. You loved the way they tangled themselves into your bedroom sheets. You loved their love. You loved their heart.
I know you thought they were the one for you. At first, it was hard to believe that you even deserved that kind of love. At first, it was hard to believe that you were worthy of this person. But slowly, your walls faded. You stepped over your own guards and you let them into your heart.
You trusted them with your entire being. You loved them with every cell and vein in your body. Every fiber in your body screamed I love you with everything that you had. Every bone in your body yelled, forever.
You never dreamed of losing them. You were too attached. You were too confident. So sure that this love would last. So sure that they would never break you. So sure that you would never break them. Because a love like this only comes along once in a lifetime.
And you had finally found that once in a lifetime love.
Except you didn’t. And without warning overtime, the love began to unravel and bend and break. The love that had been so strong, started to drown and peel off.
Your heart was on fire. It felt like it would burst with pain. And slowly, but surely, the love was over. They stopped loving you. Or you stopped loving them. Slowly, so slowly, you couldn’t even feel the change until it was all gone.
2017 was spent grieving. 2017 was a year spent burning and crying out all that love. 2017 was spent living without them, but not really able to truly live. Not 100%. 2017 was the time in your life where you lost a part of you. Because you had given so much of yourself to them.
2017 was the year you crumpled. So let 2018 be the year you begin again.
And let 2018 be the year you let this love go. For good.
Know that you will never forget this love entirely. You will still dream of him or her. You will still taste their lips in other mouths. You will still feel their touch in other bodies. You will still cry out for them, at 2 am on Wednesday nights.
But make no mistake, you will let them go. As much as you think it’s impossible. And as much as you don’t believe it, I’m here to tell you that it will happen.
It will take time. It will take months and days and weeks. It will take strength and determination and grit. You won’t always feel okay. Sometimes it will feel like hell on earth.
You will miss them desperately at night. You will toss and turn and wish their arms were laying across your chest. But with time, will come the ability to sleep on your own. With time, will come comfort in sleeping in a bed by yourself.
You will feel like you can’t breathe. Like even living is too much for you. But with time, your lungs will renew. Your lungs will feel cleaner and clearer and your breathing won’t be so labored. And with time, will come a fresh pair of lungs that never met him or her. With time will come fresh air. With time will come new cells and a smile that never met him.
You will feel like you will be alone forever. And you will think that they were only the person in the world you could ever love you like that. But in time, will come clarity. In time, you will see someone else smile and you will feel less alone. In time, you will be laughing with your friends at all at once you won’t feel sad. In time, will come the comfort from your own heart.
And with time, will come love for yourself and for your open heart. And you will see yourself begin to thrive instead of die. And with time, you will feel yourself become yourself again. And you will smile and say, it is time. It is time to let them go. And you will think to yourself and look at up at the sky whispering quietly, I will always love you, but now? I love me more. At last.