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I am tired of spending my free time with people who do not appreciate my soft heart. I am tired of going out of my way to do favors and getting nothing in return, not even a thank you. I am tired of being the person everyone runs to when they need something, but when I need something, I feel like I have nowhere to go.
I am tired of being the giving one. The mature one. The one with all of the answers.
As much as I love making my loved ones smile, I cannot keep putting their happiness before my own. I cannot keep trying so hard to make sure that everyone is okay when I am secretly not okay.
Being too nice is slowly destroying me. It is making me more stressed. It is making me feel less alive.
I can’t keep bending over backwards for everyone else and neglecting myself. I can’t keep putting my needs last. I can’t keep treating my mental health as an afterthought.
From now on, I am going to put myself first. I am going to do what makes me happiest. I am going to make decisions based off of what is best for me — not for my parents, not for my friends, not for my reputation. For my future.
Even though my natural instinct is to help others, I am allowed to say no. I am allowed to take a day to myself. I am allowed to make sure that my plate does not get overfilled, that my sanity does not threaten to collapse. I am allowed to choose the selfish answer over the selfless one. I am allowed to place myself ahead of others.
I am not required to fix everyone else’s problems, especially when I have problems of my own that need my attention. I do not owe anyone anything. I am not meant to save them.
The only person I can save is myself, which is why the best thing I can do is take care of myself. Cut toxic people out of my life. Surround myself with positivity. Allow myself to chase after my dreams. Allow myself to reach for success.
From now on, I am going to be more selfish — not because I have grown cold, but because I deserve to live my best life. I deserve to experience happiness. I deserve to smile authentic smiles.
I deserve to do something for myself for a change — because up until this point, I have only been doing things for others. I have been putting too much on my plate at once. I have been running around, helping everyone else, while letting myself suffer.
I am tired of putting myself last. I am tired of thinking so poorly of myself. I am tired of thinking that everyone else deserves more than I do.
From now on, I am going to treat myself as a first priority. I am going to take care of myself mentally and physically. I am going to love myself the way I deserve to be loved.