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I’m slowly learning that life is not supposed to easy. That the things you yearn for will require hard work and rainy days and sleepless nights. They won’t be handed to you on a silver platter. They won’t be things you get from the first try. You’ll always have to try more than once. You’ll always fall down and learn how to get back up. You’ll always lose hope then learn how to renew your faith.
I’m slowly learning that sometimes not getting the things you want is better for you. Because waiting makes you appreciate things more. It makes you understand the meaning of life. It makes you surrender to God’s will and power in handling the things you can’t control. It humbles you because it shows you that you won’t always have things go your way and you’ll have days when you fall short but it’s all part of being human. It’s all part of learning that you’re not a superhero and you’re going to plan things that don’t work and believe in things that get delayed and start over when you thought the race was over.
I’m slowly learning that when you’re so obsessed with ‘getting’ things it drives you crazy. It blurs your vision. It makes you act from a place of insecurity rather than conviction. It makes you bitter and resentful because you’re looking at what’s missing rather than what you already have. Sometimes you’ll give too much and not get anything in return. Sometimes you’ll fight hard for things and end up losing. Sometimes you’ll love people who won’t love you back. Sometimes you’ll work harder than everyone else and still not get the recognition you deserve. Sometimes your biggest accomplishments will be overlooked and your love will be taken for granted and your life will take many twists and turns before you arrive at your destination, before you find out where you belong, before you find your home.
I’m slowly learning that if I truly want to get the things I want then I must learn how to let go first. How to detach, how to let things evolve naturally, how to stop forcing things to happen at a certain time and how to stop myself from feeling like it’s my fault that I’m not making things happen. I’m slowly learning that I shouldn’t blame myself or my luck or fate. I’m slowly learning that there’s no one to blame because as long as I’m trying, as long as I’m learning, as long as I’m still taking risks, I’ll eventually make it. Luck will find me. Fate will be on my side. Life will someday make sense. But for now, I’m slowly learning how to live with the unknown, the confusion and the question marks.