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They make you feel as if you are nothing short of their absolute dream girl. The display of affection and adoration leave no room for questioning their motive. He always (effortlessly, so it seems) says and does the right thing. He promptly replies to your messages, asks how your day is going, and gives a real impression that he sincerely cares about you. Do not be fooled by these seemingly honest, innocent guys who are essentially nothing more than dangerous assholes.
Unfortunately, the “nice guy” can actually be far worse than the “bad boy.”
They avoid conflict at any and all cost and send mixed messages in order to do so. Here’s what they’re actually doing: passing time by spending it with you, only until someone better comes along. However, he’s definitely not going to just come right out and just tell you this, because that would generate waves. So, maybe we should give the guys who we label as “jerks”… a break. At least they’ll be honest if their thought and ideas conflict with yours. Maybe it’s because they don’t care about how you feel, but isn’t that far more healthy than someone who will fib merely for the sake of evading a potential clash? Jerky guys recognize that they’re exactly that, and they’re also prepared to make up for it.
They’re believable. They tell you they’d never hurt you in a way that feels so genuine, how can you not believe them? He wants to spend time with you, so he must have a sober interest in you, right? You’ll catch him staring at you in awe, just before telling you how “perfect” you are. The reason for his attentive behavior is guilt. Why? Because deep down, he’s actually not interested. He will even go as far as to introduce you to his family and friends, making sure you feel special.
They believe they can get away with anything. After all, they are “nice guys”. When he does hurt your feelings, it’s okay because he’s usually so damn nice. It must’ve been a one-time fluke incident. He doesn’t feel the need to regularly compliment you. You should know how he feels because he treats you so well. At least when you’re dating a jerk, what you see is what you get. You know what you’re getting yourself into so you aren’t surprised by their not-so-nice behavior.
In reality, the nice guys don’t even try. Being nice is enough, right? False. Every girl deserves to be pursued, at least to some extent. If you really think about it, it’s always the “overly confident jerks” who aren’t afraid to pursue you. They’ll introduce themselves, offer to buy you a drink, and will typically maintain an entertaining conversation. Meanwhile, the nice guy is sitting in the corner of the bar staring at you with no intention of actually approaching you.
When they do hurt you, you’ll end up blaming yourself. You find yourself apologizing and trying to mend fences. Ultimately, if/when things go sour with a jerk, you saw it coming. These guys are transparent enough that you aren’t falsely assuming they will treat you well. It’s the complete opposite when you date a nice guy because you presume they will treat you well, then they don’t. This leaves you questioning yourself and what you did wrong. Your friends and family love them since they only got to see him as sweet, emotional, and caring. On the other hand, your family and friends are excited when you break things off with an asshole, saying you deserve better anyway. Kind of works out nicely that way, don’t you think?
The problem with “nice guys” is that you end up doing nothing but wasting your time. They may seem to be insecure, desperate, or even like a doormat. In fact, they are nothing more than insidious little creatures in which you should maintain your distance.