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Our brains condition us to think that the things that feel the worst are the most real.
Even when we want to see the silver lining in life, we usually revert back to just preparing for the storm that never comes. We are skeptical of being “positive” because we associate being negative with being realistic and informed.
But how realistic is it? And how informed are we? If we look back at our lives, how many times did our fears reflect reality, or predict the future? How many insurmountable problems did we ultimately forget about in favor of another thing we are still convinced we won’t get past? How many times was the worst outcome the actual outcome?
Positive people are not on a delusional high, setting themselves up for a hit of reality. They just aren’t governed by the idea that what’s most scary is most true.
Being positive doesn’t mean not acknowledging risks and suffering. It just means not believing that the worst possible outcome is the most likely. It’s just realizing that most things are ok in the end – and in fact, that’s the most productive and realistic way to think about life in general.
Being “positive” means looking for answers more than problems.
It means believing that what is more true is what is loving and hopeful, not what is terrifying and dark.
It means being willing to see change.
It means not being someone who only talks about other people and their judgments of them.
It means knowing we will always return to our baseline, and that we control what our baseline is.
It means getting help.
It means forgiving.
It means reserving judgment.
It means choosing to see the best in people, the way you hope they see the best in you.
It means not bullying yourself into being better.
It means asking how you can improve your life by just 1% each day.
It means being willing to work in spite of your fears.
It means knowing that life is not happening to you, it is mirroring you.
But most of all, it means believing in your locus of control.
It means reclaiming the power that has always been yours. It is changing what you can change and working on what you can work on. It means knowing that the power of belief infiltrates the way we experience everything, and that if we are humbled enough to acknowledge just how much control we can exert over ourselves, maybe we don’t have to be afraid that the world will take something from us.
Choosing to believe in the positive is knowing that we are the only ones who can change our state of mind – and that it is the epicenter that radiates out and touches everything else.