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When you can’t be the person who cares less, your life is a constant battle between staying true to yourself or changing so people don’t take advantage of you. You’re always stuck between wanting to be generous with your heart but also avoiding the mistake of investing too much in the wrong people. You want to be yourself and show how much you care but you also want to step back to see who cares about you.
When you can’t be the person who cares less, you’ll find yourself attracting people who don’t care as much about you. You’ll always be the person who is more present, who is more invested, the person who goes the extra mile even when you know that they won’t do the same for you. You’re always the one left blindsided or disappointed because you don’t know how to give up on people. You don’t know how not to see the best in someone. You don’t know how to walk away from the ones you love and care about.
When you can’t be the person who cares less, you sort of expect that people will let you down because they don’t have your heart. You hear it all the time from those around you that you get attached too soon or you say too much or you fall so hard or you give too many chances. You know that sometimes your heart gets you in trouble but you also can’t control it.
When you can’t be the person who cares less, you feel drained and empty from all the love you keep on giving without receiving even half of it. You feel like you keep investing in projects that fail. You feel like you can’t trust your heart anymore because it keeps showing love to the people who don’t deserve it or the ones who haven’t earned it. You feel like you always end up getting hurt more because you gave too much to those who didn’t do much at all.
But when you can’t be the person who cares less, you’ll never be satisfied when you give less or when you love less. You can’t do anything halfheartedly. You can’t pretend not to care when you do. You can’t play hard to get when you want to be there for someone. You can’t walk away from someone you want to be close to.
You’re always going to be the one who cares more. You’re always going to be the one who breaks the rules and loses the game and invests more. ‘Too much’ will never be enough for you.
When you can’t be the person who cares less, you’re aware of the pattern that keeps happening to you. You’re aware of what could happen but you never stop caring more because, in your heart, you know that you’d rather feel everything and hurt than feel nothing at all. You’d rather look back and say you gave it your all than say you could have done more but chose not to.