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I know you really like him.
I see the way you look at him when you thought no one else was looking. He’s different, you say. For whatever reasons they are, one look into his dark, mesmerizing eyes and you are lost. When he flashes you his irresistible smile, you feel weak in your knees and feel like your life is complete. When he gives you the time of day, you realize in the back of your mind how you would give anything to be with him.
Even if it’s a fleeting feeling, temporary company, or a story that is not meant to be.
It’s not that you’re foolish or naive thinking that this would end well. You had been down this road with him or with someone else before and you had the scars proving how badly you were burned. How achingly wrecked your heart was in the aftermath. How you were utterly broken after the devastation.
It’s not that you’re desperate for love. In fact, you’re perfectly okay being single and you enjoy spending time with yourself. You don’t just settle for anyone who shows interest in you. You think a lot before considering whether to step into a relationship.
It’s just him.
It’s different, you insist. It’s almost impossible for you to meet someone you like. And you’re certain you really like him. You see success stories of other people who manage to get together even when the beginning was shaky. You suffered so much in the past and you thought that maybe this is finally your time to shine.
And even if it isn’t going to work out, it’s not your character to back off. To end a story pre-maturely when all you could see is the potential of it unfolding to the way you hoped it to be. To build your walls up high and keep a distance when all you want is to try to make it work with him.
I know you’re hoping for a different outcome and you don’t want to have any regrets. I know you’re strong enough to walk through high fire and freezing hell. I know you have a big heart and you won’t let any obstacles deter you. I know you’re worthy of love and you deserve a love who wants you for who you are.
I know. I just wish you know you’re worth so much more than that. I wish you could see what I see, a gorgeous woman with big dreams in your head, wildness in your bones, and independence soak in your skin. You embrace life wholeheartedly and love just as fiercely. I wish you could see your beauty, your goodness, and your strength that are some of the things I admire about you.
I wish you can believe me when I tell you, you deserve better.
You deserve more than an ‘almost’ and someone who you have to fight so hard for. You deserve more than what you’re going through now and an ambiguous relationship that tears you from the inside. You deserve more than uncertainty and grey area that makes you feel inferior to your own feeling.
You deserve someone who looks at you and just knows that you’re the one for him. Someone who loves you deeply without holding anything back. Someone who knows you deserve the world and gives you the best of him.
Because you do.