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Teen admits feeling ‘too guilty’ to ask her boyfriend to stop during sex in shocking sexual consent confession

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under pressure

One girl admitted to being ‘guilt-tripped’ into carrying on and blamed pornography for giving a false impression that women ‘love being played with like a toy’

TEENAGERS have opened up about what goes through their minds when they decide halfway through sex that they don’t want to carry on – and it’s disturbingly shocking.

One admitted that they wouldn’t want to “annoy” their partner by asking to stop, and feared being “guilt-tripped” into continuing.

 Teenagers have opened up about their thoughts on sexual consent

SBS

Teenagers have opened up about their thoughts on sexual consent

The confessions broadcast on this week’s episode of Insight on Australian channel SBS One stem from a shocking survey in the country earlier this month which revealed that more than half of all university students were sexually harassed on at least one occasion last year.

One of those is 18-year-old Lauren, who confessed she often feels pressure to keep going during sex out of guilt.

She said on the programme: “The first thing that will pop into my head is, like, I’ll feel bad, I feel like I’m annoying him… what’s he going to do now, get blue balls?

“You can physically see their feelings and you can’t see ours, you’re meant to act on it. And they’ll use the whole guilt trip on you.”

Lauren said consent is not straightforward or simply a “part of foreplay” — and that pornography is in part to blame for the lack of clarity.

“I feel like men have been told that they’re allowed to slap a girl’s a**e and that they are allowed to grab them,” she said.

 Lauren, 18, admitted to feeling 'guilty' about asking her partner to stop during sex

SBS

Lauren, 18, admitted to feeling ‘guilty’ about asking her partner to stop during sex

“I’m just not that kind of girl that enjoys just being played with like a toy.

“Something that I feel is that the adult film industry gives such a false representation that women love it and expect it and really think about it all the time.

“And of course sex in porn, they’re not sitting down for five minutes being like, ‘Do you consent to this?’ They’re just like boom… into it. So yeah, I don’t think that it’s taught.”

James, 19, who also took part in the discussion, agreed with Lauren — saying that consent isn’t clear, and isn’t talked about enough.

He explained: “Different people definitely pick up signals in a different way.

“Different people send different signals, so you can have someone sending signals that you think are consenting… but the person sending the signals might not even realise they’re doing it and then what that causes is a big misunderstanding which can lead to a lot worse things.

 A women's collective petition regarding sex assault on campus was launched at the University of Tasmania

News Corp Australia

A women’s collective petition regarding sex assault on campus was launched at the University of Tasmania
Teens are urged to say speak out if they change their mind about consent during sex

“A lot of it has to be said more than sending signals and stuff like that.”

Of the 31,000 students that took part in last month’s survey, one in five of them were sexually harassed within a university setting, including on campus, travelling to and from university as well as off-campus events organised or endorsed by it.

The survey defined sexual assault as “when a person is forced, coerced or tricked into sexual acts against their will or without their consent, including when they have withdrawn their consent”.

It provided a frightening insight into campus life across the country — with the findings recommending that education on consent and respectful relationships should be taught on campus.

Sexual consent app launched but what happens if you change your mind?

Earlier this year, questions like: “If heavy intoxication eliminates a person’s capacity to give consent, then what happens in a situation where both people are really drunk?” was asked by first year students at the University of Queensland during a series of events aimed at tackling campus sexual assault.

The program, called Re-Think, was devised by St Leo’s Head of College, Stephen Foley, to address topics including consent, sexual assault, communication and respect.

In one of the activities, students were asked to brainstorm all the signs that a person is consenting to a sexual encounter, as well as all the signs that a person is beginning to feel uncomfortable.

Interestingly, only a fraction of the students said that they would use the word “no” to turn down an unwanted experience, or indicate that they were uncomfortable.

When asked why they might not feel comfortable to use the word “no”, they gave several explanations including concern that some people might respond with frustration or escalated aggression if given a “hard no”.

Other students indicated that the word “no” is very final and may cause the initiator to feel rejected. They suggested there can be more sensitive, subtle or nuanced ways of communicating a rejection that don’t risk hurt feelings.

Insight airs Tuesday at 8.30pm on SBS One.

This article originally appeared on News.com.au.

Last year we told how Oxbridge freshers were encouraged to attend consent classes to learn how not to rape.

Stanford rape victim speaks out after being saved from Brock Turner by two men

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