The Date That Was My First One Sober

Welcome to 29 Dates, where we explore the weird, wild and sometimes wonderful world of dating — one date at a time.

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We met via Twitter.

It’s not the best way to meet a guy; actually, it might be the worst.

He was good, though. He asked me to lunch and then in the middle of the meal, interrupted himself and said: “Can we hang out again? And can it be a date?” If I’d ever been asked out in person, I don’t recall. I was thoroughly charmed.

I’d been sober for about six months. When I first stopped drinking, I went on a few dates that were so unpleasant that I took about five months off. I’d had a one-night stand but not with someone I wanted to see again.

I’d never had to get through a date sober with a guy I wanted to impress. Booze gave me confidence, which is to say, I’d spent six months slowly rebuilding my self-esteem.

Before the date, my anxiety — which is quite high anyway (I chew three pieces of gum at once) — was above average.

I’d never had to get through a date sober with a guy I wanted to impress.

I didn’t need to worry, though. He made me feel comfortable right away. Not by being smooth or overly confident, which makes me uncomfortable because I can’t keep up, but just by being himself. It meant I didn’t need to act, either.

We got tacos and watched a movie in the park. He could tell I was bored of the movie, so he invited me back to his place. I assumed that meant sex, and I was scared. What if I farted? I’d never farted sober during sex with someone I’d just met. Because I’d never been sober.

Again, I didn’t need to worry.

He’s an artist, and let me play around with his supplies for a while. He asked if I wanted to make out. At that point, despite my sobriety, I felt good. I wasn’t an awkward weirdo. I mean, maybe I was, but I didn’t feel that way around him. I was also aroused. I don’t think I’d ever given myself the time or attention to see if I was actually turned on by someone before sleeping with them — usually I just agreed.

He didn’t want to go further than making out, though. At first I was thrown but then I relaxed. It was even less pressure.

We don’t live in the same place, so there was no break-up. We amicably continue to retweet each other from time to time.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

The Date Who Told Me He Loved Me On Our First Date

The Date Whose Girlfriend Was In A Coma

The Date Where I Got Dumped

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