Do you find yourself failing in the relationship department time and time again? Perhaps your own actions are causing you to strike out. If you’re looking for an answer as to why things keep going sour, it’s time you take a long, hard look in the mirror. There’s a good chance you’re self-sabotaging your relationships, and you probably don’t even know it. Here are six signs you’re doing yourself a huge disservice.
1. You pull back when things get serious
For some, having to deal with negative emotions that come along with love doesn’t seem worth it. You may be more inclined to pull away for fear of being hurt. As Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., explains in Psychology Today, most people incorrectly assume love will be easy once they’ve found the right person. In truth, the closer you become to a person, the more hurt you’ll feel during times of discontent.
If you pull back when things start getting serious, you may be trying to avoid pain altogether. And as Firestone points out, relationship pain doesn’t just come from being disappointed by your partner, either. It can arise when the relationship is at its best. Getting close with someone can unleash underlying emotions that have been buried for years, and your relationship will not prosper until you deal with the emotional scars from your past.