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Your Forever Person Is The One Who Shows Up, It’s Really Not That Complicated

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The person you are meant to be with is the person that comes into your life and stays in your life without too much mental labor over it.

Identifying your “forever person” isn’t a puzzle you have to solve. It’s not an encrypted secret you have to decode. It’s not something you have to prove to yourself with signs and reasons you are so absolutely meant to be together. Your forever person does not require you to seek evidence, or to predict the future.

Your forever person shows up in the now.

It is not the person who you think might one day love you, or the person who you know loves you, but “isn’t ready right now,” or the person who wants to date other people “just to be sure,” or the person who won’t make it official. It is not the person who you only talk to when you’re texting, or the person who doesn’t exclaim their feelings for you, or the person who you don’t really spend that much time with, and yet still find a dozen things to argue about when you do.

The person who is meant to be with you will be with you.

When you’re too indecisive, too unsure – when you spend the majority of your relationship navigating the grey area of “are we or aren’t we?” the answer is you aren’t, but you are too afraid to admit it.

Your forever person is the one who you effortlessly want to spend all of your time with. Who doesn’t think twice about committing. Who you argue about dishes and Friday night plans with, not whether or not you’re going to actually “be something.”

Your forever person is the one who makes you feel more like yourself. Your forever person is the one who quells all the fears you had about letting someone get too close and see you as a whole. They are the person whose presence makes everything outside of your relationship start to thrive like never before – not the person who consumes you and pulls you away from your dreams.

Your forever person is the one with whom it just works. The one with whom it just clicks. 

People are not as confusing as we like to make them out to be. Human beings are self-serving idiots that generally do what they want to do when they want to do it. Sometimes, this happens in total disregard to other people’s feelings. This is never as true as when it comes to romantic love.

If someone isn’t with you, they don’t want to be with you.

If they aren’t calling, they don’t want to talk to you. If they aren’t committing, they don’t want to commit. This is the reality of what is happening, no matter how many counterpoints you feel inclined to cite to disprove what is so plainly reality. No matter how many illustrations of your love and passion you want to outline and hang on to. 

Attraction and passion is common. Commitment, less so. This is a good thing. It’s what differentiates the relationship that’s going to work out from all the other ones that didn’t: whether or not you just do it. 

Your forever person is the one who shows up, who doesn’t have to “figure out” whether or not they want to be with you. They are not always the person you argue with the least, but they are always the person you call at the end of the night. The person with whom you are irrevocably intwined.

Love is not hard, loss is hard, and it only gets harder when you refuse to accept that someone who is willing to lose you isn’t the one who really loves you.

Wait until you find the person who you don’t have to spend every day wondering about. The person you are meant to be with is the one you will simply be with. Stop wasting your time on anything else.